So today was a day of rest. I know they say that Sunday is the day of rest but when you work midnights, it's hard to regulate your body and mind to stay awake at all during the day. All I seem to want to do is sleep. So I went home and read for a few minutes and then I crashed. I woke up at about 4:30 starving since I didn't eat before I fell asleep. And then *poof* I'm back asleep until 10:20pm...just in enough time to hop in the shower really fast and then rush out the door to go back to work. I had the opportunity to switch my shift but do i really want to subject myself to more backstabbing females or deal with the two that I work with now? Such a hard decision so i stuck with my gut-feelings and stayed on the night shift...hoping and praying that I will be able to transfer soon. I really want out of this job.
So I have been contemplating what I want to do with my career and some life goals that I have. I am currently debating between a couple of things. Nursing school...which would definitely make life a little easier...especially if I were an operating room nurse or something like that. I don't mean to "take the easy way out" but I'm not sure that I have the patience to be a nurse....I am also not sure that I have the patience to be a social worker either. Although, it is still a dream of mine to be an adoption coordinator. I would love to be able to place children with parents that want and love them. I know I don't have the patience to work with the state. I think I would go insane. Now, a new thought that popped into my head...and I had actually thought of this before a long time ago but abandoned the idea...like so many of my ideas...what about a sign language interpreter. I have been looking into something like that and I really like the idea. Here's what got me thinking about it. I was looking online at different websites and I think yahoo had an article about the FBI hiring like a ton of jobs...i was trying to find the article again...but I can't find it....anyway...one of the jobs was for a sign language interpreter. I have always been interested in sign language. In fact, I was going through some of my stuff that I had when I was a kid and I came across a sign language book and sat down to look through it. Four hours later and a bunch of signs learned...I think I'm hooked again. Here's my only problem. There aren't very many universities that have sign interpretation as a major. Since I already have my associates degree in Liberal Arts....going to a community college to get my associates degree is pretty much pointless. I want to finish my bachelor's degree anyway but I don't want it to be in something that I'm just doing to get it done. Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm kinda stuck. I did find a college here in Fulton, MO...but that's kinda far to drive everyday. I'm not sure what to do and I'm getting kinda frustrated.
I don'tk now if it happens to anyone else or not but it seems when I make plans or a goal, life intervenes and makes it almost impossible to achieve a goal or dream or plan. How does one overcome that obstacle? For example, I live in my parents basement...not exactly a fabulous plan but at least it's a roof over my head. Well, I was only supposed to live there for a short time and then move out and get on with my life. Then all kinds of things happen but the big one is that Tony lost his job. It seems hard for him to keep one for very long. I sometimes feel like I could be doing more to help him with that but I just don't know what I can do without overstepping my boundaries. I know that it is important to him to support his family but it's hard for him with his bipolar. I'm ok with supporting us. In fact, I have no problem with it at all but in order for me to be able to do that...I need to finish my degree and get a job that will pay for the things that we need. Ugh...it's so frustrating sometimes. How do you help someone u love so completely feel good about themselves when they are so busy beating themselves up because of things that are beyond their control?? If anyone figures that out...I could use the advice!
Anyway, onto a happy note...my mom and George should be moving in soon. They will be grandma free for a while!!! I know my mom is looking forward to having someone else care for grandma. It's such a hard thing to watch someone you love fall to pieces everytime she can't remember something or get so worked up because she thinks that she has to do something but doesn't, in reality, have to do. I know it's hard for me to watch. I couldn't imagine seeing it every day. And with mom and George moving in, tony and I can start saving some money by not having to eat out all the time. We will be able to fix food and stuff upstairs so that will cut out the food bill a ton!! So happy about that!
Okay so I'm at work and need to get off the internet before I get my butt in trouble! Chat with you later!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
inside out brussel sprouts
Now I know many people don't like brussel sprouts...but oddly enough, they are one of my favorite veggies....now I say "oddly enough" because I hate most veggies. Wierd huh! Anyway, I found this recipe and can't wait to try it...I thought I would share!
1 1/2 cups uncooked instant rice
1 med onion, chopped
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp pepper
2 obs ground beef
1 pkg (10 oz) frozen brussel sprouts
2 cans (15 oz each) tomato sauce
1 cup water
1 tsp dried thyme
directions
In a large bowl, combine the first five ingredients; crumble beef over mixture and mix well. Cut and X in the core of each brussel sprout. Shape a scant 1/4 cupful around each frozen brussel sprout to form a meatball. Place in an ungreesed 15x10x1 baking dish.
Combine tomato sauce, water and thyme; pour over meatballs. Cover and bake at 350 for 1 hour and 15 minutes or until meatballs are no longer pink.
Yields 8-10 servings
I can't wait to try this! It sounds fabulous! You can't go wrong with your favorite veggie and a meatball right?? I will definitely let you know how it goes and what else we served with it!
1 1/2 cups uncooked instant rice
1 med onion, chopped
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp pepper
2 obs ground beef
1 pkg (10 oz) frozen brussel sprouts
2 cans (15 oz each) tomato sauce
1 cup water
1 tsp dried thyme
directions
In a large bowl, combine the first five ingredients; crumble beef over mixture and mix well. Cut and X in the core of each brussel sprout. Shape a scant 1/4 cupful around each frozen brussel sprout to form a meatball. Place in an ungreesed 15x10x1 baking dish.
Combine tomato sauce, water and thyme; pour over meatballs. Cover and bake at 350 for 1 hour and 15 minutes or until meatballs are no longer pink.
Yields 8-10 servings
I can't wait to try this! It sounds fabulous! You can't go wrong with your favorite veggie and a meatball right?? I will definitely let you know how it goes and what else we served with it!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Chaos in the midst of Peace
So I have been thinking alot about what is going on in my life and wondering what I can do to change things. Here's what I have come up with:
1. I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut. I am so tired of people taking what I say and twisting them and then getting me into trouble. I am tired of saying things to people in confidence and then having it thrown back in my face. I have this problem with trusting people that aren't trustworthy, I guess. I know that there are people out there in the world that just can't be trusted. I didn't realize that everyone I worked with was one of those people. I swear that it's just like working in a high school...or being back in high school...with all kinds of backstabbing wenches trying to win over the boss. What some people don't realize is when you go and tattle on another coworker...not only does the coworker look bad...so do you!!
2. Life definitely isn't always fair. This is something that I think I have always known but it's becoming more and more obvious as life goes on. Tony and I have an awesome possiblity to move into this really neat apartment in our favorite part of town. It's a really neat place. The landlord doesn't mind the dogs and the cat! In fact, she's a dog lover herself. It's on "The Hill" which is our favorite part of town. Toni...the landlord...is willing to work with us regarding the deposit. And...here's the best part...we can paint our apartment and make it our own! It's got a big enough kitchen and while the rooms are small...it is still bigger than what we are in now! For $650 a month we can be on our own...and that includes utilities. How fabulous is that...now all we have to do is get Tony a job and life will be fabulous! But sometimes that feels like an impossible feat....i wish life was easy sometimes!
3. You have to let go of the past. And that is easier said than done. I have never realized how much the past affects the future. There has to be a reason for everything right? Doesn't everything happen for a reason? And isn't the past supposed to help shape the future? Actually...I have found that it really does shape the future...but I also have found that it's up to us to decide what parts of the past we are going to use to "shape" our future. For example, my dad wasn't the nicest of parents. We had our moments. What i didn't realize was that I was still using some of my "hostility" towards my dad in my daily life. I was taking out some of my frustrations with how he treated me on others, like those that I work with. It certainly was a rude awakening when I found out that was what I was doing. But once I changed my attitude...life was easier on the job...until I learned the hard way that I need to keep my big mouth shut....see lesson 1.
4. It's cheaper to cook at home! I love to cook. I just didn't realize how much cheaper it was to do so. Tony and I haven't had a place to cook for a year now. All of my health numbers are really high. What I'm talking about is cholesterol and triglycerides...things like that. They are crazy high...and I firmly believe that is because of how we are eating and not having a kitchen to prepare healthy and delicious meals! Now, that's not to say that you can't make fattening and bad for you meals at home...because you totally can...but it's easier to eat healthier if you are cooking and eating at home. Now that my mom and George are moving back into the house...tony and I will be able to prepare and eat at home! We are actually very excited about this as we are totally tired of eating out. Now, that's not to say that we won't ever eat out again. We do happen to love hamburgers every once in a while...and do I really feel like cooking EVERY day...I don't think so! Oh, we were at "the Hill" on Saturday and I picked up this fabulous new cookbook that I totally can't wait to use it! I love old family recipes...things that have been past down from generation to generation....hopefully evolving into a fabulous recipe. We went to Di Greggorio's Italian Family Market and they had a family cookbook that they had published. Oh my...I can't wait to try some recipes. I love to add new recipes to our daily menus...oh and to be able to cook again!!! YAY!!! I will definitely pass the fabulous recipes on!
These are just a few of life's lessons that I have learned recently. I know that there are many more but I'm tired and can't think at the moment! I hate working midnights! And on that note...I will say goodnight!
1. I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut. I am so tired of people taking what I say and twisting them and then getting me into trouble. I am tired of saying things to people in confidence and then having it thrown back in my face. I have this problem with trusting people that aren't trustworthy, I guess. I know that there are people out there in the world that just can't be trusted. I didn't realize that everyone I worked with was one of those people. I swear that it's just like working in a high school...or being back in high school...with all kinds of backstabbing wenches trying to win over the boss. What some people don't realize is when you go and tattle on another coworker...not only does the coworker look bad...so do you!!
2. Life definitely isn't always fair. This is something that I think I have always known but it's becoming more and more obvious as life goes on. Tony and I have an awesome possiblity to move into this really neat apartment in our favorite part of town. It's a really neat place. The landlord doesn't mind the dogs and the cat! In fact, she's a dog lover herself. It's on "The Hill" which is our favorite part of town. Toni...the landlord...is willing to work with us regarding the deposit. And...here's the best part...we can paint our apartment and make it our own! It's got a big enough kitchen and while the rooms are small...it is still bigger than what we are in now! For $650 a month we can be on our own...and that includes utilities. How fabulous is that...now all we have to do is get Tony a job and life will be fabulous! But sometimes that feels like an impossible feat....i wish life was easy sometimes!
3. You have to let go of the past. And that is easier said than done. I have never realized how much the past affects the future. There has to be a reason for everything right? Doesn't everything happen for a reason? And isn't the past supposed to help shape the future? Actually...I have found that it really does shape the future...but I also have found that it's up to us to decide what parts of the past we are going to use to "shape" our future. For example, my dad wasn't the nicest of parents. We had our moments. What i didn't realize was that I was still using some of my "hostility" towards my dad in my daily life. I was taking out some of my frustrations with how he treated me on others, like those that I work with. It certainly was a rude awakening when I found out that was what I was doing. But once I changed my attitude...life was easier on the job...until I learned the hard way that I need to keep my big mouth shut....see lesson 1.
4. It's cheaper to cook at home! I love to cook. I just didn't realize how much cheaper it was to do so. Tony and I haven't had a place to cook for a year now. All of my health numbers are really high. What I'm talking about is cholesterol and triglycerides...things like that. They are crazy high...and I firmly believe that is because of how we are eating and not having a kitchen to prepare healthy and delicious meals! Now, that's not to say that you can't make fattening and bad for you meals at home...because you totally can...but it's easier to eat healthier if you are cooking and eating at home. Now that my mom and George are moving back into the house...tony and I will be able to prepare and eat at home! We are actually very excited about this as we are totally tired of eating out. Now, that's not to say that we won't ever eat out again. We do happen to love hamburgers every once in a while...and do I really feel like cooking EVERY day...I don't think so! Oh, we were at "the Hill" on Saturday and I picked up this fabulous new cookbook that I totally can't wait to use it! I love old family recipes...things that have been past down from generation to generation....hopefully evolving into a fabulous recipe. We went to Di Greggorio's Italian Family Market and they had a family cookbook that they had published. Oh my...I can't wait to try some recipes. I love to add new recipes to our daily menus...oh and to be able to cook again!!! YAY!!! I will definitely pass the fabulous recipes on!
These are just a few of life's lessons that I have learned recently. I know that there are many more but I'm tired and can't think at the moment! I hate working midnights! And on that note...I will say goodnight!
Friday, January 22, 2010
It's Been Almost a Whole Year since we've last spoken!
Wow!! So it's been beyond forever since I last blogged. Maybe I will try and be a better blogger this year! Since starting a new year and a new decade...I have decided to make a few changes! I have made a few decisions that should impact my life and make it better...that's the goal anyway! I was watching the movie "Julie and Julia" a few weeks ago and was inspired to start a cooking blog. My absolute favorite website is allrecipes.com. I love the variety of recipes on there. So I have decided that I am going to try and cook a new recipe and then blog about it. Now Julia in the movie blogged about a new recipe every day. I don't think i will be able to do that but I want to blog at least two to three times a week. I'm not trying to be fancy with it...I just want to make some new recipes and just enjoy myself. Learn a different way to cook and some new and healthier ways to cook. I just recently got out of the hospital...my blood sugars were in the 500s...way too high...and have now been put on a low carb diet. I'm kinda nervous about that. I love food. I am a major foodie...and i am a slave to my taste buds so I want to make low carb food that tastes awesome. I think i have found some recipes that will do just that! When I set up my blog, I will make sure to post the address here so anyone can look at it!
So another one of my new years resolutions...and I totally hate making those...is to go on a weekly hike somewhere with my husband. We will start slow and on smaller trails and then gradually increase the length. I don't want anything tough in the beginning. I am in enough pain all the time as it is...so start slow and then increase! I think that is a brilliant plan. Who knows...maybe we will increase the amount of hikes to two a week as well...later on down the road! I'm pretty excited about this new adventure. This will help me achieve my weight loss goal. I'm not setting an exact amount of weight loss for the year...that's too restricting to me...so I'm just going to say that I am going to lose whatever I do lose and I will be happy about it!
This year I am also going to figure out what I want to do career-wise with myself. I want to try and get back into school and graduate and get a fabulous job that will make me happy. While I love the company that I work for now, I don't want to stay in this position forever. I want to be able to make a living and be able to support myself and my family! I also want to be able to adopt a baby within the next 2 years. I guess my biological clock is ticking pretty loudly these days. I used to always want to be a stay at home mom...then I was told that I couldn't have children...since then my position has been that I just don't want them...but apparently that has changed again. I'm pretty sure my "i don't want them" phase was a defense mechanism put in place by myself because of what one doctor said. Well...you know what...I just might get a second opinion when my A1C...which is my blood sugar count...gets below 7. It's really bad at the moment and I don't want to put any risk on me or a possible baby until it gets lower. So...who knows...maybe one day it will happen...if not, there's always adoption...but I think we'll adopt anyway. But I digress.
Oh, I found an old friend the other day on Facebook. Totally am jealous of him. He is doing what he loves to do. What he's always loved to do and that's being in the theatre. I can't believe how jealous I became of him. I used to love being a part of the theatre. I dreamed of one day running a sound board or doing something backstage on a broadway production. Wow...what a dream that was. Now I'm stuck in a dead end job with no prospects of moving up...totally not what I expected my life to be like. I do have a fabulous husband who loves and supports me but i expected so much growing up and none of it has happened. So I just wanted to tell my friend...not that he will probably ever read this...I envy you and I wish you the best. As of this moment, you are my hero...for doing what you love and not getting sucked into dregs of life.
Anyway, on a lighter note!!! I'm getting a new vacuum tomorrow. Yep...I'm excited about a new vacuum...what is wrong with me??? Oh well....at least my house will be cleaner and I will have a new toy to play with until it breaks again. That's the problem with cheap vacuum cleaners and dog hair. I think this is the 6th vacuum we have had since we got the dogs...three years ago. Yep...that's pathetic. Can't they make an awesome vacuum for dog hair...one that doesn't clog up so much?? Oh well...here we go again!
So I'm going to sign off for now...I promise that I will be better at writing and I hope you enjoyed an insight to my life!
So another one of my new years resolutions...and I totally hate making those...is to go on a weekly hike somewhere with my husband. We will start slow and on smaller trails and then gradually increase the length. I don't want anything tough in the beginning. I am in enough pain all the time as it is...so start slow and then increase! I think that is a brilliant plan. Who knows...maybe we will increase the amount of hikes to two a week as well...later on down the road! I'm pretty excited about this new adventure. This will help me achieve my weight loss goal. I'm not setting an exact amount of weight loss for the year...that's too restricting to me...so I'm just going to say that I am going to lose whatever I do lose and I will be happy about it!
This year I am also going to figure out what I want to do career-wise with myself. I want to try and get back into school and graduate and get a fabulous job that will make me happy. While I love the company that I work for now, I don't want to stay in this position forever. I want to be able to make a living and be able to support myself and my family! I also want to be able to adopt a baby within the next 2 years. I guess my biological clock is ticking pretty loudly these days. I used to always want to be a stay at home mom...then I was told that I couldn't have children...since then my position has been that I just don't want them...but apparently that has changed again. I'm pretty sure my "i don't want them" phase was a defense mechanism put in place by myself because of what one doctor said. Well...you know what...I just might get a second opinion when my A1C...which is my blood sugar count...gets below 7. It's really bad at the moment and I don't want to put any risk on me or a possible baby until it gets lower. So...who knows...maybe one day it will happen...if not, there's always adoption...but I think we'll adopt anyway. But I digress.
Oh, I found an old friend the other day on Facebook. Totally am jealous of him. He is doing what he loves to do. What he's always loved to do and that's being in the theatre. I can't believe how jealous I became of him. I used to love being a part of the theatre. I dreamed of one day running a sound board or doing something backstage on a broadway production. Wow...what a dream that was. Now I'm stuck in a dead end job with no prospects of moving up...totally not what I expected my life to be like. I do have a fabulous husband who loves and supports me but i expected so much growing up and none of it has happened. So I just wanted to tell my friend...not that he will probably ever read this...I envy you and I wish you the best. As of this moment, you are my hero...for doing what you love and not getting sucked into dregs of life.
Anyway, on a lighter note!!! I'm getting a new vacuum tomorrow. Yep...I'm excited about a new vacuum...what is wrong with me??? Oh well....at least my house will be cleaner and I will have a new toy to play with until it breaks again. That's the problem with cheap vacuum cleaners and dog hair. I think this is the 6th vacuum we have had since we got the dogs...three years ago. Yep...that's pathetic. Can't they make an awesome vacuum for dog hair...one that doesn't clog up so much?? Oh well...here we go again!
So I'm going to sign off for now...I promise that I will be better at writing and I hope you enjoyed an insight to my life!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving
Wow! I can't believe that thanksgiving was here and now it's gone...hard to believe that we survived another day. Today has been extremely hard. While grandpa is still alive, he's pretty much been sedated all day and it's been tough. I had my first thanksgiving without him. I know he's still alive but it was like he wasn't there. All of the kids are here now...every aunt and uncle...what a marvolous family reunion but under such tough conditions. It's been a rough day emotionally for all of us. We don't expect him to make it the night...my mom is taking the night watch to make sure everything is okay...there's a plan set in motion but it's still hard...grandma has come to the reality that grandpa is dying and it's been really hard...she's cried twice today and that just makes it all that much harder for me...being so sensitive and all. Since my family is sooo blasted musical, there was much singing today in the house...kinda livened things up a bit but it was still tough...they would sing songs that would bring back some childhood memory about a time spent with grandpa and i'd start crying all over again...i think i cried like 6 times today...my goal is to be strong for my mama but it's hard to see her cry. Grandpa was always invincible...i never really thought that it would come to this....it's been hard and i almost wish that he would just let go...as mean as that sounds...i think it would be best. I love him more than I even knew....i realized that almost all of the good memories taht I have from my life have included him. Oh, and my husband has been completely amazing through it all...i don't know how many times i've cried on his shoulders about this and he's completely amazing! don't tell him...it might go to his head!!! even though he's sitting right next to me!
On to brighter stuff....i'm getting ready to get to meet my scrappal!!! I'm sooo excited!!! It's going to be soo much fun...I swear that we were separated at birth...we have soo much in common and it's just soo freakin awesome! Mom and I escaped yesterday and went to an Archiver's class and then we went shopping...okay, so she spent more than me even though I paid for half of her stuff...but I did owe her money..in fact, i still might but sssshhhh...don't tell her! No, I think we are pretty much even! She's such an amazing woman...I can't wait to do a scrap page of nothing but my mama and how she is my hero! Jamie can't wait to meet her...she thinks that she sounds totally awesome and believe me when i say that my mama is the best! I absolutely adore her!! I can't believe how amazing she is and how strong she is...she's a real trooper! Anyway, i think it's almost 130 in the morning and it's been a long day as it is! I believe that I'm going to say goodnight...hopefully i'll be able to get on the internet tomorrow...i don't think tony's going to have a problem with calling in for the weekend...i don't think that WalMart is going to throw a fit because of grandpa so i think we may be covered there! So it's off to bed! Good night!
On to brighter stuff....i'm getting ready to get to meet my scrappal!!! I'm sooo excited!!! It's going to be soo much fun...I swear that we were separated at birth...we have soo much in common and it's just soo freakin awesome! Mom and I escaped yesterday and went to an Archiver's class and then we went shopping...okay, so she spent more than me even though I paid for half of her stuff...but I did owe her money..in fact, i still might but sssshhhh...don't tell her! No, I think we are pretty much even! She's such an amazing woman...I can't wait to do a scrap page of nothing but my mama and how she is my hero! Jamie can't wait to meet her...she thinks that she sounds totally awesome and believe me when i say that my mama is the best! I absolutely adore her!! I can't believe how amazing she is and how strong she is...she's a real trooper! Anyway, i think it's almost 130 in the morning and it's been a long day as it is! I believe that I'm going to say goodnight...hopefully i'll be able to get on the internet tomorrow...i don't think tony's going to have a problem with calling in for the weekend...i don't think that WalMart is going to throw a fit because of grandpa so i think we may be covered there! So it's off to bed! Good night!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Just another day in Paradise!
Okay, so i promise not to be to depressing today!! I do have some good news so i'll share that first! TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AT EDS!!! For those of you who know me, you know that this day isn't coming soon enough! I have never been sooo blasted excited about it in my life. I'm sooo sick and tired of this place...It's the worst place to work at. Here's the deal for those of you who don't know! I work(ed) for EDS for almost a year and a half. I am actually a Kelly Services contractor who was supposed to get hired on at 6 months....when I interviewed with Kelly they asked me if I could go 6 months without health insurance because they wanted to make sure that I could handle that. I told them that was probably as long as I could go without it because i get sick pretty easily...especially since my blood sugars would be through the rough for that long...this place would literally be the death of me....ooops...that was depressing! Anyway, I said that wasn't a problem and was excited to get hired on....well, it never happened.. Anyway, I wanted to go home for thanksgiving and Christmas because, 1. grandpa is sick. 2. my neice has cancer. 3. i hadn't been home in almost 8 months and i just wanted to get to STL before i lost my mind! Some would say too late but bite me!!! So my boss told me that if i could trade with someone then I could go home but how many people do you know would be willing to work the weekend after the holidays...let alone the weekend in general! Well, nobody would trade with me so i decided that this was the push to get me outta here...I've wanted to quit for a while but was just to darn lazy to do anything about it! So here i am, getting ready to get out! it's about darn time!!! I'm soo excited! My boss is being a nice guy about it all too and wishing me luck with my new job...i think there's going to be a big party held in my abscence! How rude! I know a lot of people don't like me here and i really don't care...because i probably can't stand them either.
Oh and more good news! I get to home in 2 days! I got to talk to my grandpa today...He seems to be in great spirits. He just loves having all of his girls home and loves this being pampered by his girls....soooo...we shall see what's going on! Hope all is okay!
Well, i'm out for the day! I probably won't be able to post more until i get home. More like on Wednesday! I'll let you know how things are going!
Oh and more good news! I get to home in 2 days! I got to talk to my grandpa today...He seems to be in great spirits. He just loves having all of his girls home and loves this being pampered by his girls....soooo...we shall see what's going on! Hope all is okay!
Well, i'm out for the day! I probably won't be able to post more until i get home. More like on Wednesday! I'll let you know how things are going!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Look! I blogged!!
Okay so I'm totally going to try and keep up with this blog...I'm not very good and I don't have access to the internet all the time but I'm sure going to try. Don't hate me if it sucks! I told ya, I'm new at this!
Okay so life really sucks right now. My grandpa isn't doing well. I'm trying to stay strong and not give in to tears on a daily basis but it's been hard. I'm a major scrapaholic so I think I'm going to do a LO that's just all about him and what he means to me...i'm gonna try and get that done without to many tears. I was listening to the radio the other day and almost had to pull over because the song, "Don't Blink" by Kenny Chesney came on and I just lost it. So much stress right now and I was just completely overwhelmed, I guess you could say. I get to go home for the holidays and spend some time with him so I'm a happy camper...I just hope he's still strong enough to see me and to talk to me. Parkinson's disease is such a terrible disease. I just can't believe one day the person is strong and then the next they are just so weak and can't fend for themselves anymore. It's just wrong and horrible.
He's done so much for me in such a short period of time. I can honestly say that my grandpa is one of my heroes. He is such a sweet man. I try and talk to him on a daily basis but today all he seems to be able to do is sleep. i know he's just got to be exhausted. His doctor recommended hospice to help take care of him. He has a male NA come in three times a week to assist with baths and things like that. The hospice nurse comes in a couple of times a week to check up on him...mom calls her often i think! Grandpa can't take his meds anymore and things have just gotten worse...Hopefully things will go quickly...just not before i get there! I can't wait to go home...it's going to be interesting. All my aunts are coming into town...Aunt Amy is there now..she's from Buffalo, NY...and i think Aunt Peggy and Aunt Christine are getting there later this afternoon. and Aunt Penny will get there late tonight. The only person that will be missing is Uncle Terry but I don't think he's going to stay away much longer.
The longer this goes on the worse things are getting. My grandpa finally woke up for the day...here it is 2:15 in the afternoon. Well, at least he woke up right??? I hope he doesn't suffer much...but he can't swallow his pills anymore...this is a new thing so they have to either crush them or give him liquid tylenol that's thickened and someone spoons it in his mouth...oh my goodness, this is hard! I just keep remembering this big man who took care of his family to his best ability...now it's up to his family to take care of him....i'm so not ready to let go yet.
We are going to have some major fun when i get home though...after thanksgiving is over, we are going to decorate the house both inside and out! All of the girls are going to decorate the inside, while the men decorate the outside. Mom said that if I was going to give them anything for Christmas that I better bring it now so that Grandpa can enjoy it. I made a really neat canvas for them...I know he's just going to love it! It will look awesome in their room. The right colors and everything! Just hope it doesn't blend into the wall. Oh, I promise to take a ton of pics and post them here when i get a chance...I don't know if I will take pics of grandpa but there might be a few. I don't want to remember him this way.
Anyway, I guess i'll go for now...i'm at work....my second to last day! sooo excited! I will definitely keep you informed as to my new job...should be totally entertaining...just hope i can handle the stupidity of teenagers in a fast food joint! Wish me luck!
Oh, and i promise that next time i blog, i won't be so blasted depressing...it's just hard....oh, except if grandpa dies...that will be really sad.
Okay so life really sucks right now. My grandpa isn't doing well. I'm trying to stay strong and not give in to tears on a daily basis but it's been hard. I'm a major scrapaholic so I think I'm going to do a LO that's just all about him and what he means to me...i'm gonna try and get that done without to many tears. I was listening to the radio the other day and almost had to pull over because the song, "Don't Blink" by Kenny Chesney came on and I just lost it. So much stress right now and I was just completely overwhelmed, I guess you could say. I get to go home for the holidays and spend some time with him so I'm a happy camper...I just hope he's still strong enough to see me and to talk to me. Parkinson's disease is such a terrible disease. I just can't believe one day the person is strong and then the next they are just so weak and can't fend for themselves anymore. It's just wrong and horrible.
He's done so much for me in such a short period of time. I can honestly say that my grandpa is one of my heroes. He is such a sweet man. I try and talk to him on a daily basis but today all he seems to be able to do is sleep. i know he's just got to be exhausted. His doctor recommended hospice to help take care of him. He has a male NA come in three times a week to assist with baths and things like that. The hospice nurse comes in a couple of times a week to check up on him...mom calls her often i think! Grandpa can't take his meds anymore and things have just gotten worse...Hopefully things will go quickly...just not before i get there! I can't wait to go home...it's going to be interesting. All my aunts are coming into town...Aunt Amy is there now..she's from Buffalo, NY...and i think Aunt Peggy and Aunt Christine are getting there later this afternoon. and Aunt Penny will get there late tonight. The only person that will be missing is Uncle Terry but I don't think he's going to stay away much longer.
The longer this goes on the worse things are getting. My grandpa finally woke up for the day...here it is 2:15 in the afternoon. Well, at least he woke up right??? I hope he doesn't suffer much...but he can't swallow his pills anymore...this is a new thing so they have to either crush them or give him liquid tylenol that's thickened and someone spoons it in his mouth...oh my goodness, this is hard! I just keep remembering this big man who took care of his family to his best ability...now it's up to his family to take care of him....i'm so not ready to let go yet.
We are going to have some major fun when i get home though...after thanksgiving is over, we are going to decorate the house both inside and out! All of the girls are going to decorate the inside, while the men decorate the outside. Mom said that if I was going to give them anything for Christmas that I better bring it now so that Grandpa can enjoy it. I made a really neat canvas for them...I know he's just going to love it! It will look awesome in their room. The right colors and everything! Just hope it doesn't blend into the wall. Oh, I promise to take a ton of pics and post them here when i get a chance...I don't know if I will take pics of grandpa but there might be a few. I don't want to remember him this way.
Anyway, I guess i'll go for now...i'm at work....my second to last day! sooo excited! I will definitely keep you informed as to my new job...should be totally entertaining...just hope i can handle the stupidity of teenagers in a fast food joint! Wish me luck!
Oh, and i promise that next time i blog, i won't be so blasted depressing...it's just hard....oh, except if grandpa dies...that will be really sad.
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