Frustrations

I am so blasted frustrated right now...so if you don't want to read about how horrible and frustrated that I feel...well, then you can just move on to your next blog because I'm about to vent!

I love my job. I love the people that I worked with...mainly the techs. There are a ton of people that drive me up the wall at my new job. I am just really not feeling the new people...except for maybe a couple. See, here's what I think...i think that there will be cliques in this new department and I'm just not down with that. I am frustrated because everyone here had someone that they met in orientation. They came into this job with a "friend." I didn't. I transferred in so I didn't know anyone in my training class. I am just not the type of person that assimilates herself into other "cliques" well. That's just not how I am. I take a while to warm up to new people. I'm not the "go getter" type I guess. I had visions of being a lead quickly...i don't see that happening anymore. I see myself transfering out of this department in a year. I don't know...maybe I'm just being retarded but I really hate it when I set goals for myself that seem achievable but then quickly turn out to not be that way.

Anyway, I'm not nearly done venting...but I'm tired of being whiney at the moment. Everyone is at lunch right now and I'm just sitting here typing away and not really paying attention to anyone else...maybe i'm being...i can't even think of the word...but whatever. I'm just wishing right now that some moron hadn't stolen my stupid pita chips! I'm hungry and now I don't get to eat until after i get out of the frickin office...i'm pissed!

It's been a while!

wow...so it's been a while since I have had a chance to blog. Things have been kind of busy these days. I have started my new job...and am totally loving it! The people in this office are so nice and wonderful! I feel like I belong here...not like what it did in the old office. It's a nice change!! I enjoy coming to work..even though it's at the crack of dawn. I am definitely not a morning person...that's for sure!!!

Anyway, not much has been going on since I last wrote. The only BIG new is my new job...but I really don't know what my job is going to be like...i'm just doing temp stuff until we move the office on the 31st of August. So I will definitely have more to tell you later!

This one is going to be short...cause I just don't have anything to say!

A constant state of confusion

Holy cow....i had no idea that transferring positions was going to be so freakin difficult! Don't get me wrong...I am so freakin excited about this new position and the new possiblities and new work environment...I just hope all this drama is worth it!!! Okay, so confused yet?? Let me tell you what's going on! Here's the latest scoop!

So a last week, my boss brings me into her office and asks me if I think that she's blocking my transfer or whatever. I'm obviously going to say no!!! Duh!!! Anyway, I'm not really sure if she even can...who knows!! So, the a few days after that, I get an interview with the Telemetry department for a brand new position...so new that they don't even have a job description of what I'm supposed to be doing! I'm all excited. I am so thrilled with this opportunity! My interview went great...I could just feel the acceptance after this interview...I knew that I nailed it! So, a transfer to a new department is what I have wanted since day 2!! I was stoked! A new office, a new software program, a new position, and a new boss, and new people to get to know! Rock on! Easy Peasy right?? Uh, since when has my life ever been easy??

So, I get offered the position after Michelle, my new manager, spoke with Christi. The day after that I accepted the position with HR, I went in to speak with Christi to let her know that I accepted the job and that I was hoping for a release to a different position. She told me that she was going to grant my release but she didn't have a start date for me and I couldn't leave until she found a replacement for me...or two weeks, whichever came first. The way it sounded to me was like I was never going to get out of here...so Tiffany completely panics! Holy Crap!! She really is going to try and block this transfer...that was my first thought. Fast forward a few days...Christi calls me in to give me my review...which was perfect by the way!...and then she tells me that my last day is Sunday....uh...what?? Like 2 days ago, it sounds like I'm going to be stuck here forever and then all the sudden I'm out in less than 2 weeks!!! So here I am, a transferred person with an awesome job waiting for me...the problem...my job wasn't going to start until Aug. 16th. Yeah, 2 weeks of nothing to do for money! So, that's not the end of the world...I can handle a couple of weeks of vacation!! Uh yeah, so now it's changed again...yep...this is the confusing part...I'm supposed to report to my new manager on Monday. The poor woman has no idea what to do with me for a MONTH...yep, you read that right. They changed the stupid date again...our move in date to our new office is now Aug 31st. Anyway, my training date isn't supposed to be until Aug 23rd now....oh boy! What am I supposed to do for a freakin month??? Well, let's hope something comes out right with this transfer!!! Wish me luck! Sheesh!

Fabulous News!

Many of you know that I have been trying to transfer out of my office to a different department at Barnes. Well....it finally happened!!!! I am so excited to announce that I am transferring to the telemetry department. I'm not sure of my exact transfer date, but it's coming soon...i can feel it! I'm excited! It's going to be a new experience with an opportunity to learn a new skill and a new department. I totally like my new manager. She seems so sweet and caring...I just don't think that I would ever want to cross her!! I'm looking forward to my 12 hour days and only having to work like 3 days a week! LOVE IT!!! And i get to wear scrubs...now to some that doesn't seem like an exciting thing but I love them! Not only are they completely comfortable, I don't really have to stress about what to wear to work. All I need is like 6 scrub outfits and I'm good to go. I won't have to do laundry for two weeks!!! Rock on!! Anyway, as I know more about the position and things I will definitely keep you all informed! I'm so excited it's ridiculous!

Okay, so now on to some other stuff. I'm getting ready to start my canning for the year. I decided this year that I only wanted to can some jams and jellies this year. It's going to be kind of a stressful time of year with Tony starting school and all so I thought I would keep it simple. I'm excited to see where the rest of this year is going to take us and what we can do to try and keep our heads above water. I'm going to try and get my student loans out of default and then I'm going to go back to school to finish my degree...should only take me a couple of years, and by the time I'm done, Tony should only have another year. Hopefully by then, we will have figured out where we want to stay for a while. I think we may move one more time after school is over for us. Who knows, we might even move out of state.

So back to the jams and jellies. I have figured out which ones I want to make this year. I'm gonna be busy as there are quite a few of them. One of the ladies I work with now is going to get me some of her apples from her tree so I'm pretty stoked about that. I will be able to make some apple butter and maybe a couple of jars of applesauce, but that's as far as I'm going to go with that this year. I made a ton of applesauce last year and some of them went bad so I'm not sure I want to do that this year.

So here's my list of jams and jellies:

pomegranate jelly
rosy apple cider jelly
strawberry kiwi jam
candy apple jelly
peach jam
pineapple kiwi jam
strawberry pineapple jam

There may be a few more added to this list but I'm pretty happy with the ones that have been selected for this year. I'll definitely post some pics and recipes as they are completed. It will take some time because I have to go and get the jars and find my canner...i still haven't unpacked it yet.

So much to do still. I can't wait to get my scrap room organized and get that all situated. With Tony's pell grant money, we have talked about getting a new futon for the living room and getting some other things that are necessaties for us. We are happy that we are going to be able to pay for some things that we need. I can't wait to go back to school so we can have enough money for more things that we want and need to do.

Well, I think I'm going to say goodnight for now. I'm not feeling good and I want to lay my head down! Hope you all have a blessed day tomorrow!

A new opportunity

Hi all!! So we had a wonderful weekend and it's been a pretty good start to this week. My cousin Emma got married this last Saturday at a vineyard in Ste. Genevieve, MO. It's called the Cave vineyard. Yep...only my cousin would get married in a cave!!! LOL!! It was absolutely gorgeous. Candles everywhere made it a romantic and just a lovely reception. I have never seen such a wonderfully happy couple. Evan is just such an awesome guy for her! I think it's a match made in heaven! As soon as I can get some pics up, I will be sure to post them. I wanna make her a lil scrapbook album of her wedding photos that Tony's dad took. He is quite the photographer when he takes the time! I'm actually very impressed with some of the pics that I have already seen. Emma just glowed with happiness. The ceremony was lovely. The pastor said some wonderful things about marriage and i even loved how he added that they can be married for eternity. I thought that was a beautiful sentiment. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe in eternal marriage as long as a person is sealed in the temple. Emma isn't a member of the Church and neither is Evan. I like knowing that they still have a chance at eternity even though they aren't sealed together in the temple. I'm not sure how the Church would feel about a pastor from another church saying that married couples will be together for eternity, but when this one said it, it felt completely right to me. Now, I'm not saying that what my church says is wrong, but one of the things that always bugged me is that why are we the only ones that can be with our spouses for eternity. Why can't other couples who aren't member be together for eternity? Why does it just have to be us? These are just one of the things that bugs me and some of the questions that I have. I don't really know why I am questioning things that I have grown up knowing to be true...or maybe I just thought they were because my parents told me they were...and as a child, a parent knows all! I don't know. It's just something that I need to work out for my self i guess!

So anyway, back to why this is titled "A new Opportunity." I had a job interview today for a position that I really hope that I get. It's a new position in the Telemetry department. Basically it's a receptionist position but there is more opportunities to grow in this position. I will start out at the bottom but since this is a brand new position, there won't be many people starting with me. So as the department grows, I may be able to be a trainer or a lead. Maybe even so far as a supervisor eventually. I really like the manager of the department. I think it would be a great fit for me. It's a 12 hour shift, 3 days a week but I would be paid for 40 hours. I am really hoping that I get this job. I did the best I could with the interview, now it's up to Christi...my supervisor now. I really hope she doesn't block me in this new opportunity. I really want it!

I will definitely keep you posted and hopefully there will be some awesome news down the road. Right now, I am just trying to make it through my shifts and hoping that each day, I still have a job to come to. Christi seems to be going through a firing and hiring phase!! All I can do is come in and do my job to the best of my ability and hope and pray that's enough!

Oh well, have a great night. I'm gonna take a nap!!! LOL!!! Not likely!

It's been a while!

Wow! It's been a long time since I last made a post. It seems like life is just kinda flying by. So much has happened...and so much has fallen apart. Sometimes it seems like life is just blah...but sometimes life is exciting and adventurous. I'll give you some examples of things that have happened lately.

So, let's start off with my work environment. My former lead is no longer on my shift and things seem to be going easier now. The girl that replaced her isn't too bad and we get along for the most part. I seem to be leaving work in a lot better mood and have been getting along with others better! I still think people think of me as the office "bitch" but that's okay with me. It's a nice reputation to have! People tend to leave you alone when you have that reputation! The gossip doesn't seem to bother me anymore. As long as I'm not part of it, I don't really care! They finally got my computer fixed so I am able to sit at my own desk and enjoy staring at the wall and not really having to talk to anyone! I still talk to Ms. Evelyn and things between us are better. I don't mind Jessica, the new nightshift girl. She's a little know-it-all like sometimes, but whatever....people are how they are! So things aren't as bad as they have been and I like this new change. It's something that seems to make life a little easier!

Tony has entered into his 4th month of employment. He is no longer on probation! They seem to really like him and his work ethic. He's only been late twice and called in once. Not to shabby considering how sometimes life works with/for us. He hopes he's going to make lead soon which i think is a distinct possibility! He is also trying to make it so that he and I can have the same weekends off. It's hard for the two of us to have opposite weekends. It's hard when one of us really needs to sleep and the other wants or needs to get stuff done. I like to get as much done as possible on my weekends off...and that keeps him awake so he's miserable because he can't get any sleep...and it's the same with me...only Tony just sleeps way to freakin much in my opinion!

What else has been going on??? We joined the YMCA and are taking some water aerobics classes, which I love! We are also spending some time in the lap lane...swimming a 1/4 mile which makes me feel awesome! I haven't been able to do the laps the last few classes because I have to get a tooth pulled and the pain is just draining all my energy right now. I'm taking some major painkillers which seems to drain me as well. I think once things calm down with my mouth, then we will start back on laps and also start working out in the gym part of the Y!

My cousin had her bridal shower a couple of sunday's ago...it's so lovely to see people that care for her and love her. My family isn't like that anymore. It seems that since Grandpa died, my family is falling apart. Nobody really knows what it's like to live with someone with alzheimer's unless you do it. My family has made my mom's life a living hell. They have required so many different explanations for things that are really none of their business. My Grandpa would be ashamed of my family and how they act and how they treat their siblings. I just don't understand them. I don't even want anything to do with a lot of them....and that's just a shame. But you know what. I need to protect myself and look out for myself. I need to start surrounding myself with good, righteous, and courteous people...something many of my family members are NOT.

So Tony and I have started going to church again. The Bishop is such a wonderful guy. He's just been the sweetest person to us. The Missionaries came over for dinner and poor things, I didn't serve the best stuff to them. I feel really bad...hopefully they will give us another shot! I think next time, I'll make enchiladas and something fun for desert...like cherry dump cake or something like that. I made my awesome chicken, broccoli, rice casserole...but I ended up using low sodium soups and it just wasn't worth squat! And my banana pudding, yeah...we won't even talk about that! Oh, and the poor elders had to sit on my floor because we don't have a couch or any chairs yet...poor things. It just wasn't a good night for me. I promise it will be better next time guys! I swear it!

So, since the Elders knew we didn't have a couch...they found one for us...actually, it just kinda fell into their lap! Their neighbor was moving and asked them if they needed a couch and a recliner. Since they knew that we didn't have one, they called us and we are now the proud owners of a couch and a recliner. I haven't even seen them yet, so hopefully they are in decent shape!

So I have to go now...people are going to start arriving and I don't want to get into trouble! I'll have more later...i'm sure of that!

is it even worth it?

Oh my goodness...sometimes i ask myself that question a lot!! Like right now, sometimes it just doesn't seem like life it worth all of the drama that's been handed to us. I don't know how we are going to be able to get passed this drama at the moment. It's something that I have to sit and ponder and figure out. I know that the scriptures say that the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle...but sometimes, I don't think that I'm as strong as He thinks I am.

So here's the situation: Tony has two kids from his previous marriage that I have met like once in the 5 1/2 years that we have been married. We pay $625 a month for two children that we NEVER see. It's soo frustrating. We would love to be able to spend time with them and to enjoy them. We would love to foster a relationship. I strongly believe that a child needs to have both parents in their lives. I know what it's like to be a child of divorced parents...it completely sucks. I hated it as a child, and I can only imagine that they don't necessarily like it either. Here's the sad thing...Tony's youngest, Zachary, doesn't even know his dad. See...Tony has to have monitored visitation...i can't think of the right word at the moment. That makes it difficult when you have a nasty divorce situation. So, if he wants to see his kids, either his ex-wife or her parents have to be there. It would be so nice to be able to spend some quality time with these kids...anyway, here's what's going on now...In the divorce decree, Tony is responsible to pay for their health insurance...well, they are on their mother's insurance so we haven't been paying for it...mainly because Tony hasn't had it because he has the VA...anyway, Tony got to see his paycheck today and it was like a hundred dollars short....Barnes received a letter from the Court system saying that it's mandated that they take the insurance out of his check...so the good thing here, is that Tony has health insurance now...the bad thing, we can't afford to survive now. Oh, we can pay rent and the car payment out of my check but that's pretty much my entire check right there. The measly $200 from Tony's check is going to have to cover everything else. So there goes any fun money out the door. We were going to join the YMCA so that we can get back into shape but that seems to now go out the door. We were going to do a lot of things to the apartment to make it how we want it...but that is no longer going to happen. I don't understand how this is happening to us...I don't understand WHY it's happening to us. We are trying to get our lives back in order and everything is falling apart again. Just when things were looking up, something slaps us back down. I'm trying not to be all depressed about it and trying to make something cheerful happen...but it just seems like everything comes crashing at once.

I know this isn't a cheerful happy entry...and i can't seem to always make them that way, but it's something that I needed to get off my chest...so if you are still reading, bless you! Thanks for reading about my horrible day. Right now, all I want to do is go home and sleep and not deal with the world right now...but instead I am stuck here at work, wishing i could just be asleep. Ok, so I'm going to go look at cookbooks now...maybe find some awesome recipes to try! Have a great week everyone!