Saturday, November 17, 2007

Look! I blogged!!

Okay so I'm totally going to try and keep up with this blog...I'm not very good and I don't have access to the internet all the time but I'm sure going to try. Don't hate me if it sucks! I told ya, I'm new at this!

Okay so life really sucks right now. My grandpa isn't doing well. I'm trying to stay strong and not give in to tears on a daily basis but it's been hard. I'm a major scrapaholic so I think I'm going to do a LO that's just all about him and what he means to me...i'm gonna try and get that done without to many tears. I was listening to the radio the other day and almost had to pull over because the song, "Don't Blink" by Kenny Chesney came on and I just lost it. So much stress right now and I was just completely overwhelmed, I guess you could say. I get to go home for the holidays and spend some time with him so I'm a happy camper...I just hope he's still strong enough to see me and to talk to me. Parkinson's disease is such a terrible disease. I just can't believe one day the person is strong and then the next they are just so weak and can't fend for themselves anymore. It's just wrong and horrible.

He's done so much for me in such a short period of time. I can honestly say that my grandpa is one of my heroes. He is such a sweet man. I try and talk to him on a daily basis but today all he seems to be able to do is sleep. i know he's just got to be exhausted. His doctor recommended hospice to help take care of him. He has a male NA come in three times a week to assist with baths and things like that. The hospice nurse comes in a couple of times a week to check up on him...mom calls her often i think! Grandpa can't take his meds anymore and things have just gotten worse...Hopefully things will go quickly...just not before i get there! I can't wait to go home...it's going to be interesting. All my aunts are coming into town...Aunt Amy is there now..she's from Buffalo, NY...and i think Aunt Peggy and Aunt Christine are getting there later this afternoon. and Aunt Penny will get there late tonight. The only person that will be missing is Uncle Terry but I don't think he's going to stay away much longer.

The longer this goes on the worse things are getting. My grandpa finally woke up for the day...here it is 2:15 in the afternoon. Well, at least he woke up right??? I hope he doesn't suffer much...but he can't swallow his pills anymore...this is a new thing so they have to either crush them or give him liquid tylenol that's thickened and someone spoons it in his mouth...oh my goodness, this is hard! I just keep remembering this big man who took care of his family to his best ability...now it's up to his family to take care of him....i'm so not ready to let go yet.

We are going to have some major fun when i get home though...after thanksgiving is over, we are going to decorate the house both inside and out! All of the girls are going to decorate the inside, while the men decorate the outside. Mom said that if I was going to give them anything for Christmas that I better bring it now so that Grandpa can enjoy it. I made a really neat canvas for them...I know he's just going to love it! It will look awesome in their room. The right colors and everything! Just hope it doesn't blend into the wall. Oh, I promise to take a ton of pics and post them here when i get a chance...I don't know if I will take pics of grandpa but there might be a few. I don't want to remember him this way.

Anyway, I guess i'll go for now...i'm at work....my second to last day! sooo excited! I will definitely keep you informed as to my new job...should be totally entertaining...just hope i can handle the stupidity of teenagers in a fast food joint! Wish me luck!

Oh, and i promise that next time i blog, i won't be so blasted depressing...it's just hard....oh, except if grandpa dies...that will be really sad.

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