Wow! I can't believe that thanksgiving was here and now it's gone...hard to believe that we survived another day. Today has been extremely hard. While grandpa is still alive, he's pretty much been sedated all day and it's been tough. I had my first thanksgiving without him. I know he's still alive but it was like he wasn't there. All of the kids are here now...every aunt and uncle...what a marvolous family reunion but under such tough conditions. It's been a rough day emotionally for all of us. We don't expect him to make it the night...my mom is taking the night watch to make sure everything is okay...there's a plan set in motion but it's still hard...grandma has come to the reality that grandpa is dying and it's been really hard...she's cried twice today and that just makes it all that much harder for me...being so sensitive and all. Since my family is sooo blasted musical, there was much singing today in the house...kinda livened things up a bit but it was still tough...they would sing songs that would bring back some childhood memory about a time spent with grandpa and i'd start crying all over again...i think i cried like 6 times today...my goal is to be strong for my mama but it's hard to see her cry. Grandpa was always invincible...i never really thought that it would come to this....it's been hard and i almost wish that he would just let go...as mean as that sounds...i think it would be best. I love him more than I even knew....i realized that almost all of the good memories taht I have from my life have included him. Oh, and my husband has been completely amazing through it all...i don't know how many times i've cried on his shoulders about this and he's completely amazing! don't tell him...it might go to his head!!! even though he's sitting right next to me!
On to brighter stuff....i'm getting ready to get to meet my scrappal!!! I'm sooo excited!!! It's going to be soo much fun...I swear that we were separated at birth...we have soo much in common and it's just soo freakin awesome! Mom and I escaped yesterday and went to an Archiver's class and then we went shopping...okay, so she spent more than me even though I paid for half of her stuff...but I did owe her money..in fact, i still might but sssshhhh...don't tell her! No, I think we are pretty much even! She's such an amazing woman...I can't wait to do a scrap page of nothing but my mama and how she is my hero! Jamie can't wait to meet her...she thinks that she sounds totally awesome and believe me when i say that my mama is the best! I absolutely adore her!! I can't believe how amazing she is and how strong she is...she's a real trooper! Anyway, i think it's almost 130 in the morning and it's been a long day as it is! I believe that I'm going to say goodnight...hopefully i'll be able to get on the internet tomorrow...i don't think tony's going to have a problem with calling in for the weekend...i don't think that WalMart is going to throw a fit because of grandpa so i think we may be covered there! So it's off to bed! Good night!
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