So today was a day of rest. I know they say that Sunday is the day of rest but when you work midnights, it's hard to regulate your body and mind to stay awake at all during the day. All I seem to want to do is sleep. So I went home and read for a few minutes and then I crashed. I woke up at about 4:30 starving since I didn't eat before I fell asleep. And then *poof* I'm back asleep until 10:20pm...just in enough time to hop in the shower really fast and then rush out the door to go back to work. I had the opportunity to switch my shift but do i really want to subject myself to more backstabbing females or deal with the two that I work with now? Such a hard decision so i stuck with my gut-feelings and stayed on the night shift...hoping and praying that I will be able to transfer soon. I really want out of this job.
So I have been contemplating what I want to do with my career and some life goals that I have. I am currently debating between a couple of things. Nursing school...which would definitely make life a little easier...especially if I were an operating room nurse or something like that. I don't mean to "take the easy way out" but I'm not sure that I have the patience to be a nurse....I am also not sure that I have the patience to be a social worker either. Although, it is still a dream of mine to be an adoption coordinator. I would love to be able to place children with parents that want and love them. I know I don't have the patience to work with the state. I think I would go insane. Now, a new thought that popped into my head...and I had actually thought of this before a long time ago but abandoned the idea...like so many of my ideas...what about a sign language interpreter. I have been looking into something like that and I really like the idea. Here's what got me thinking about it. I was looking online at different websites and I think yahoo had an article about the FBI hiring like a ton of jobs...i was trying to find the article again...but I can't find it....anyway...one of the jobs was for a sign language interpreter. I have always been interested in sign language. In fact, I was going through some of my stuff that I had when I was a kid and I came across a sign language book and sat down to look through it. Four hours later and a bunch of signs learned...I think I'm hooked again. Here's my only problem. There aren't very many universities that have sign interpretation as a major. Since I already have my associates degree in Liberal Arts....going to a community college to get my associates degree is pretty much pointless. I want to finish my bachelor's degree anyway but I don't want it to be in something that I'm just doing to get it done. Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm kinda stuck. I did find a college here in Fulton, MO...but that's kinda far to drive everyday. I'm not sure what to do and I'm getting kinda frustrated.
I don'tk now if it happens to anyone else or not but it seems when I make plans or a goal, life intervenes and makes it almost impossible to achieve a goal or dream or plan. How does one overcome that obstacle? For example, I live in my parents basement...not exactly a fabulous plan but at least it's a roof over my head. Well, I was only supposed to live there for a short time and then move out and get on with my life. Then all kinds of things happen but the big one is that Tony lost his job. It seems hard for him to keep one for very long. I sometimes feel like I could be doing more to help him with that but I just don't know what I can do without overstepping my boundaries. I know that it is important to him to support his family but it's hard for him with his bipolar. I'm ok with supporting us. In fact, I have no problem with it at all but in order for me to be able to do that...I need to finish my degree and get a job that will pay for the things that we need. Ugh...it's so frustrating sometimes. How do you help someone u love so completely feel good about themselves when they are so busy beating themselves up because of things that are beyond their control?? If anyone figures that out...I could use the advice!
Anyway, onto a happy note...my mom and George should be moving in soon. They will be grandma free for a while!!! I know my mom is looking forward to having someone else care for grandma. It's such a hard thing to watch someone you love fall to pieces everytime she can't remember something or get so worked up because she thinks that she has to do something but doesn't, in reality, have to do. I know it's hard for me to watch. I couldn't imagine seeing it every day. And with mom and George moving in, tony and I can start saving some money by not having to eat out all the time. We will be able to fix food and stuff upstairs so that will cut out the food bill a ton!! So happy about that!
Okay so I'm at work and need to get off the internet before I get my butt in trouble! Chat with you later!
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